


Musings on love.

by Munnin



Category: Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)
Genre: No Plot, Other, Spoilers! So many spoilers., rambling musings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 16:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14752040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munnin/pseuds/Munnin
Summary: Just some ramblings on love and connections.





	Musings on love.

For Han, love with often a surprise and usually didn’t come in the forms he expected. 

He always wanted to fly. His father had built ships. It was one of the few things Han knew about him. All his life, all Han wanted was to take one of those ships and fly away. It didn’t even have to be one of the ships his father built. Just… any ship. 

He would never admit that he dreamt of finding his father’s name scratched into some maintenance hatch somewhere. 

***

It was always going to be him and Qi’ra. Since the first time they helped each other, running interference around Lady Proxima and her goons. Neither of them could remember who started it. Just that they ended up owing each other favours. At first it was a way of keeping score. But then it was… just the way it was. He told her everything, all his secret hopes and dreams. Even ones he’d never spoken aloud, even to himself. She knew him better and deeper than anyone else in all the galaxy. As he knew her.

When he saw her again, there in the sky tower, all those years of dreams banked up and waiting for her – he barely knew her at all. She was so closed to him. But it would pass. He knew it would pass. And then they would know each other properly again. He’s say all the things out loud that he’d never say to anyone but her.

***

Chewbacca… well. His plan had started with “How do I not die in this hole?” and ended up somewhere utterly different. Even with the Wookiee being weird about personal space, Han felt- a connection. As they fought their way along the train and he yanked Chewbacca back from being squashed on the rocks, Han felt it. Like a blaster bolt to his gut. They’d known each other for just a few days but he could imagine a future without the Wookiee at his side. It was weird, another thing he’d never say aloud. But it was the truth. 

And when Chewie took the co-pilot’s seat, Han felt a part of himself click into place. 

***

Beckett wasn’t a surrogate father figure. Why would anyone think that? Han didn’t want or need that. He needed a life. A path. Something out of the mud and into the sky. He liked Rio right away. The Ardennian was easy to like. Val… didn’t like him. Which kinda made Han like her more. He didn’t want them. He wanted what they had. Family. Each other.

He wished he’d had a hand free, to hold one of Rio’s hands as he died. Because it felt wrong that he had to die like that. Close but alone.

***

He liked and hated Lando at once. Smug and cocky and everything Han did his best to be. Lando made it look effortless. And his ship! Han was in love with the Falcon before he ever saw it. With the idea of it. Of being that free, that happy. 

It wasn’t till they were fighting their way off Kessel, that Lando threw Han the blaster and it landed in his hand. As if it was always meant to be there. That he knew it for sure. Lando could have been his brother. If Han ever let himself want that. Which he couldn’t convince himself he did. At least, not that he’d admit out loud. 

***

Enfys Nest. She was a kid with freckles and sadness in her eyes. But fire too. So much fire. Her bands were idealist in a cause Han couldn’t understand. Yet. 

He’d argued when Qi’ra tried to tell him he was a good man. It was a ridiculous thing to say.

But then he thought of that kid with freckles and nothing left to lose. He could help. Just a little.

Maybe Qi’ra was right. 

But he’s never say it out loud.


End file.
